Jenn
Here I am... writing. Yep. It's what I love to do. I love to do it.
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I love having things to look forward to, and this week has accomplished that for me! I try not to get excited about things until they’re here but we are going camping this weekend and I cannot wait! Adam and I went last May by ourselves and didn’t make it back the rest of the summer but this weekend we are going back and taking a few friends to enjoy the weekend with us. It has already proved to be an expensive trip, but it’s going to be worth it. I love time with him and our friends, and nature is where I belong.
We’ve bought all we need besides food, and tomorrow we are digging out all our camping supplies from the garage and loading up the cars. We are going to Red River Gorge rustic campground in the National Forest to attempt to find the same spot we had last year. We won’t have cell phones, water, electricity, bathrooms, etc and that to me will be enough to make me want to stay forever. Ellie bug is going with us this year and I think she’s gonna love it. She will get to run free and enjoy nature, which she doesn’t do too well in. She’s a bit of a miss priss but we took her for a hike yesterday to prepare her for it and she did well.
Here we go! :)
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I’m blogging, again. Good morning. That should have been the other way around but nevertheless, I’m up early, looking for a new job, finishing house work, did my yoga, and now I’m enjoying some coffee while I rant about whatever comes out.
This morning is reminding me of everything I love that I have lost sight of. I miss hearing the birds sing every morning, while enjoying coffee and thinking about the day ahead of me. Times have changed, but one change I’m happy for is the beautiful puppy whose head is laying in my lap. She’s my world, and my best friend. I don’t know what I would do without her cold nose and sweet kisses. I miss writing and getting in touch with myself. I miss time, and when it was on my side.
Here’s to today, and tomorrow I hope to be back. Wish me luck at the hospital! :) Chow.
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I’m currently too lazy to go into the bedroom and get my personal journal so I’m using my Tumblr which has been way too neglected in the past year.
It’s Christmas Eve… wow. I can’t say I know where the past year went. But I’m glad it’s here and I’m ready to get it over with. I don’t enjoy the holidays the way I used to. I guess it’s because I’m getting older, and the memories I have to go along with this time of year don’t do much for me. This will be the first year I don’t spend the night at my mother’s house but I’m thankful for the home Adam and I have. I wish we were both feeling the Christmas spirit, but I think we are alike in the way that we are happy with each other, but ready to ignore all the bullshit the holidays bring. We got each other a huge television and kinect and we are considering that our gifts to each other. Neither one of us like spending our money on other people. Call it selfish, but it’s what we are. Haha. Maybe one day that will change when we have kids. I hope so at least.
I feel out of place and out of touch this year. I’m missing something that I need but trying to ignore that feeling because that hasn’t gone away since the day I was put on this earth. There’s nothing anyone could give me that would make it better. That feeling is apart of me and always will be. I’ve accepted that. I’m trying to smile, and convince myself that everything is okay but it feels off. I feel off. I feel cheated out of what I really want in life because I settle for shit.
Ugh, Merry Christmas.
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I never imagined I would still receive blows even after you were gone. But waking up every day has seemed to prove something new, some lie that surfaces from even knowing you. How could 3 years just up and walk away and find something new? Who are you that you couldn’t even tell ME the truth? I’m the one who held your hand through everything and gave you every piece of me. Somehow that wasn’t enough and you think you will find more. Good luck. I’m done wishing for success and your happiness. Find it without me, because I’m off that train. I’m finally in the right frame of mind to where I can worry about myself and want nothing to do with you. It’s about time I get angry. Don’t come around and don’t show your face. You aren’t welcomed. If you think for one second this is grounds for civility between us, you better think again. You have done your share of leaving and lying and I’ve had all I can take. What you are is worthless to me anymore. Your words mean the opposite of what they sound like, and your thoughts couldn’t be touched with a 10-foot pole. Do me a favor and disappear from my head and my life. I want nothing more for you than what you left me with… a bad goodbye.
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Quote reblogged from theheartplace♥Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.
Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.
She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.
Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.
It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.
She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.
Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.
Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.
If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.
You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.
You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.
Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.Rosemary Urquico (via theheartplace)(Source: blitzkreigkate)
